went to vail last weekend with my mom and dad to visit my sister. while we were there, we saw philadelphia orchestra perform at the gerald ford amphitheater. i enjoyed biking with my dad on the beautiful mountain trails. it rained every day but all in all it was a relaxing five day trip. i caught up on my reading and had wonderful dinners with my family. 

when i got home, i found out i was accepted into stephens college. i have a tour and meeting with my advisor tomorrow morning. i could not be more please with the new chapter ahead in my life. i am excited for all the new opportunities ahead of me. as summer's winding down, i'm growing closer to my friends each week and learning more about myself and the world around me and my true opinions of things. 

be gentle with yourself. you are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars. in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.

i'm ready for summer, as always. i've made a list like i always do. random ideas of things i want to do, things i want to plan, things i want to accomplish. i plan on working this summer, maybe two jobs, i'm thinking about waiting tables at this fancy restaurant downtown. i looked at an apartment right downtown, the rent isn't much at all, and i would only live there mid-may until august. i also want to volunteer my time in some way, maybe shoot photos for a boutique or start my own radio show. 

i'm looking forward to running around in a tank top and shorts, going on spontaneous road trips, reading books all day in your hammock, swimming night and day, biking next to the river, picnics in the park, sitting for hours at a time sharing stories and listening to records, eating fresh donuts at five a.m., going to the farmers market on saturday mornings.

if not now, when?

i don't have to leave anymore, what i have is right here.
spend my days and nights before, searching the world for what's right here.


if this were to go under, that's a risk i'd take.

new beat.

good times for a change. i haven't laughed this much in a long time. i have fun with you and our friends. the stories you share go on for longer than i'm used to. it's rubbed off on me a little but i don't mind. each day, i'm feeling more and more happy and comfortable here. i could really get used to all the fun things i've been doing lately. age really is nothing but a number. the past few weeks i've been growing in so many positive ways.  i don't, however, want to wake up dreaming and another year has passed. i strive to live each day with purpose and meaning, making the most out of my time here with you.

cold shoulder.

all you left me was a cold shoulder. i don't believe in ending things this way. moments like this are a reminder that people will do whatever it is they please. there's nothing left that i can say. it's time we go our own way. 

my days have been busier than ever. i'm working about four or five days a week now instead of six or seven. i have a schedule i set today to finish my online courses between now and the end of may.

my father's having a heart operation this weekend in ohio. he and my mother are driving there and my aunt will be coming to stay in town. i don't know what i'll do if i lose my father this weekend. until then, i will try to stay focused and hope for the best outcome.

everyday felt like it was the last one with you.