tonight i read thirty letters i received at the end of the school year my senior year. some of them weren't signed, but it was obvious to me who they were from because of the kinds of things they said and the memories they brought up.

looking back at how people described me makes me wonder how i've changed since that time. maybe i'm not that different, i've just experienced different things since then. Lauren said the other night that she asked herself recently, "who do i want to be in five years?"


"your spontaneity and empathy leave me feeling better at the end of the day."

santa monica.

The trip to Santa Monica/Los Angeles is how the rest of my vacations should be. We had some set plans, some loose plans, and some free time.

Lauren asked me three days before the trip, and I up and bought a plane ticket with money i've had saved for a while now.

I felt so spoiled on this trip. Lauren's brother Eric and his girlfriend Jamie went all out. I kept trying to give Eric money when we would go places, but he never would take it. They bought every meal I had on the whole trip. They made me coffee in the morning and gave me chips and hummus in the afternoon. They drove Lauren and I everywhere we went, except for the days she and i biked to the beach.

I went to my first baseball game ever, we had seats in about the tenth row and we collectively ate enough hot dogs and fries to feed a small army. After the Dodgers game, we went to a karaoke bar nearby and sang and laughed our hearts out. Lauren and I also went to Hard Summer Music Festival and saw The Twelves, Crystal Castles, and a bunch of other performers.

Right now i am writing them both a letter and mailing them mix cds. I think i'll even send them a bottle of wine. Jamie said I was welcome back any time to make her feel twenty again. Lauren and I have already been talking about going back again one day and visiting some other places too like San Francisco.

I'm really learning this summer about being comfortable with other people doing generous things for me. Sure, all growing up I was used to my family being overly generous, but now i'm getting used to the people I meet doing what I would do for them.

good to see you.

I’ve seen some beautiful sunsets in the past week.

The other day after Kate and i went biking on the trail, i went for a drive out in the country by myself to see the sunset.

Last night the sunset looked beautiful as it changed the colours of the lake Rachel, Chris, and Andrew were swimming in.

It's been refreshing to have my four closest friends from ninth grade all together again. It's been two years since the five of us have all been able to do the things we used to do together like bowling, making videos, playing games, sharing stories, and the like.